


Truth or Consequences

by Likelightinglass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ever wish these two would just have an honest conversation with each other?, First Kiss, Honesty, Love Confessions, M/M, Sweet, They cant fight this feeling anymore, Veritaserum, because I sure do, even though they want to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 15:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18626314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Likelightinglass/pseuds/Likelightinglass
Summary: Harry has one shot to have an actual honest conversation with Severus Snape.How about a little Veritaserum to grease the wheels?





	Truth or Consequences

  
  


_ There is a Beautiful Creature _ __  
_ Living in a hole you have dug. _ __  
__  
_ So at night _ __  
_ I set fruit and grains _ __  
_ And little pots of wine and milk _ __  
_ Beside your soft earthen mounds, _ __  
__  
_ And I often sing. _ __  
__  
_ But still, my dear, _ __  
_ You do not come out. _ __  
__  
_ I have fallen in love with Someone _ __  
_ Who hides inside you. _ __  
__  
_ We should talk about this problem– _ __  
__  
_ Otherwise, _ _  
_ __ I will never leave you alone.

 

_ -Hafiz, We should talk about this problem _

  
  


Harry clutched the newly delivered letter so tightly it was beginning to crumple. He stared at the short note scratched in familiar handwriting, reading and rereading the terse message until he had it memorized.

 

“Harry, what is it?” Ron asked from the floor across the room, still tangled in the pieces of Harry's new dinner table. “You look a fright, mate. Bad news?”

 

“He's...he's finally agreed to meet with me.”

 

“Professor Snape?” Hermione asked incredulously. “That's from him?”

 

“That's brilliant, mate,” said Ron. “You've only been sending an owl a week for, what, a solid year now?”

 

“Fifteen months,” Harry grumbled dejectedly. 

 

“Ah. All the better then. Isn't this what you wanted? You finally wore the bastard down.”

 

Ron glanced over at Hermione, who looked at Harry's glum expression with sympathy. “What's the matter Harry?”

 

“I just, well I guess I'd sort of given up on ever actually getting a response. Mostly just an exercise in futility really.”

 

“What did he say? He’s going to meet you somewhere?” 

 

“Yes. One dinner and then I am supposed to ‘abstain from harassing him any further’ apparently.” 

 

“That's something at least. Go, talk to him. Get your questions answered, have your conversation, move on,” said Ron, having abandoned all pretense of assembling furniture. 

 

“Yes, my big conversation,” said Harry thoughtfully. “Except, what do I do when he evades every question I ask and brushes off everything I say with some non committal ‘hmph’?”

 

“Well...I’m not sure, mate, unless you think you can get ahold of some Veritaserum. Pop a few drops in his drink, and there you go, an honest conversation with the dungeon bat.”

 

“Oh sure, great plan Ron.” Harry rolled his eyes. “The potions professor, double agent spy, and master occlumens isn't going to notice me dump a vial in his drink? Paranoid git probably carries the antidote in his pocket everywhere he goes.  I'll be lucky if I get one question in before he kills me.”

 

Harry sighed unhappily and glanced at Hermione, who was being unusually quiet. 

 

She looked at Ron, then back at Harry and chewed her bottom lip. 

 

“Mione? What are you thinking about?”

 

“Well...there is one option…”

 

_________________

  
  


Harry fiddled with his sleeve, pulling a loose gray thread and twining it around his finger as he waited for Severus Snape to arrive. Fashionably late, it would seem. Or perhaps Harry was just early. 

 

Harry had requested a private booth towards the back of the upscale restaurant in Muggle London. Snape, ever the elusive and secretive man, had insisted on this location, “somewhere non-wizarding and away from prying eyes”. Also somewhere pretty pricey it would seem, judging by the menu. But Harry really didn't mind, he had more galleons than he knew what to do with, it was the least he could do to treat Snape to a nice meal. 

 

It was almost like a real date, he thought to himself before immediately squashing that little idea down. He was uncomfortably reminded of his conversation with Ron and Hermione, he didn't think he imagined the look of pity or the sympathy in the tone of Hermione’ words.  _ I just don’t want you to be upset, Harry, if Snape says something you don't want to hear. _

 

Thinking very hard about not thinking about the implications of any of that was blissfully interrupted by the arrival of the man himself. 

 

Dressed in plain black trousers and a turtleneck jumper, he looked much the same as he had in Harry's school days, pale and lean with the same lank dark hair. Though a bit less intimidating without the flowing black robes, Harry thought, his sharp eyes and slightly gaunt face were as severe as ever. 

 

Harry took in the sight of his former professor, whom he had not seen since his trial. Harry had testified on his behalf but Snape had barely looked at him, barely looked at anyone, as if surprised and unhappy to still find himself in the land of the living. 

 

“Professor, sir, please sit down,” Harry said after standing and gesturing to the empty side of the booth. “Thank you for agreeing to meet me.”

 

Snape eyed him with an unreadable expression before nodding and taking his seat. “Anything to stop being inundated with letter after letter requesting an audience. And I'm not your professor anymore. Or anyones professor, for that matter.”

 

Harry frowned, but resolved to be polite. “I'm happy you finally agreed to come. I hope we can have a pleasant evening. The food here is supposed to be great.”

 

Snape busied himself with looking over the menu. After a brief silence, he said “Surely the savior of the wizarding world has his choice of dinner companions? I can't imagine what you think we need to say to each other.”

 

“I really just want to talk, Sir. After everything we've both been through, there’s just so much I need to say...and ask. I thought you were dead, and then you were going to die, then going to Azkaban, then...you were gone. And we never got a chance to….just talk.”

 

Snape raised an eyebrow and repeated Harry's last words. “Just...talk?”

 

“Is that so unbelievable?”

 

Snape started to respond, then seemed to think better of it, but continued staring in clear skepticism. 

 

“Let's order first, Potter. Dinner, then conversation if we must. I've been wanting to try this restaurant for some time now and I'd like a decent meal before I subject myself to whatever irritating test of patience you deem so necessary.”

 

Harry bit back an angry retort and unconsciously brought his hand to the little vial of veritaserum plus in his pocket that Hermione has given him from the experimental lab at the Ministry. He took a deep breath. “Fine.”

 

The food was actually extremely good. Harry was glad that even if he got nothing else he wanted out of the evening, the memory of the salmon and wild rice dish would be something. 

 

“I'd like to at least say thank you. For everything.”

 

Snape swallowed the piece of steak he was eating and made a “hmph” noise, which was infuriating by being exactly what Harry had expected. “Yes. You have mentioned that before.”

 

“Can we talk about my mum at all?”

 

“No.”

 

“About Dumbledore?”

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“What are you doing now for work?”

 

“Keeping busy. This and that.” Severus smirked. 

 

Harry tried very, very hard to keep his eyes from rolling. He was really going to have to pry a conversation out of this man. That’s it, he was going to have to resort to desperate measures. He stroked the glass vial and considered Hermione’s explanation of the Veritaserum Plus. 

 

“It's an experimental and advanced form of Veritaserum,” she had said. “A colleague of mine at the Ministry is working on it. It’s resistant to the antidote for standard Veritaserum and it renders the subject temporarily unable to perform occlumency, so it can't be overcome by that either.”

 

“Is it stronger then?” Harry had asked. “I want to have an honest conversation with Snape but I don’t want him just rambling all his secrets in the middle of the restaurant, that's cruel. He'd never forgive me for that.”

 

Hermione had chuckled softly. “I'm not so sure he'll forgive you for this either. But no it doesn't work like that. Regular Veritaserum compels you to tell truth, in general and when being questioned.  He will be unable to resist the compulsion to answer a direct question honestly, but if he tried, he would be able to resist telling you any extraneous details, or responding to unclear or vague statements. That's the trade off.”

 

“So as long as I'm careful what I ask…” Harry had trailed off, formulating a plan. 

 

Harry considered the man before him at the table, who was sipping his wine, eating his meal, and doing his best to completely ignore Harry's presence. He really had brought it upon himself by refusing to give an inch, and Harry would be careful not to embarrass him or ask anything too terribly personal...he silently cast the switching spell Ron had shown him, swapping the half ounce of liquid in the vial with the same amount from Snape's wine. 

 

“I have no desire to swap war stories, Potter. I don’t want to share the war hero pedestal with you and your friends, and in case it has escaped your notice- I am not a pleasant man to be around.”

 

Harry laughed and rolled his eyes. “Well yeah, obviously. That doesn't mean I don’t want to be around you.”

 

“Hmm,” Snape hummed. “Indeed.” He took a sip of his now veritaserum plus laced wine. He met Harry's eyes then looked suddenly very interested in the window.

 

Harry glanced over to follow his gaze, and caught sight of a crow fluttering past. He turned back to the table and took a long drink of his wine, steeling himself.

 

Snape's eyes follow the motion of the glass and he smirked slightly, his cold eyes lighting a bit. “Now, Potter,” he said smoothly, “tell me why-”

 

Harry sighed, defeated, and opened his mouth to speak. He intended to start with the softball questions, but what escapes his lips is, “Well this is going miserably. I don't understand, do you really hate me this much? Did you come here just to ignore me?”

 

“I don't hate you,” Snape answered immediately. “No, I came here because I couldn't resist coming to see you any longer.”

 

Harry and Snape both stared at each other, stricken. Before Harry could speak, Snape interrupted with a growl, “Did you switch our glasses somehow, Potter? I know I put the Veritaserum in yours.”

 

“I didn’t need to switch them, Snape, because I put Veritaserum in your glass.”

 

Snape looked murderous, and Harry choked on a strangled laugh.

 

“This is not funny.”

 

“Oh, it’s definitely a little bit funny. I mean, we both drugged each other with truth serum. Why did you-”

 

Snape silenced him with a hiss and a rather terrifying sneer. “Don't you dare ask me a question, Potter, or I will hex you into next month.” He took a deep breath and collected himself. “Now, of course, I brought an antidote along, which I was planning to give to you and will obviously now be going to me.” He unstoppered the small glass vial he'd taken from his pocket. “So since you seem to love babbling and honesty so much, enjoy dealing with the effects for the next several hours.” He brought the vial to his lips. “This sideshow is over.”

 

“It won't work.”

 

Snape paused, teeth bared. “What?”

 

“It won't work.” Harry shrugged. “I didn't give you regular veritaserum, that's a special batch. Antidote proof and occlumency proof. Looks like you're stuck being honest.”

 

“How...how dare you…”

 

“Listen, hey this could be good. I hear people do this sometimes, you know, be honest? Talk? Tell each other how they feel?”

 

“I'd rather drown.”

 

Harry snorted. “Yeah, that tracks.”

 

“Why would I possibly agree to a veritaserum drugged conversation with you? Especially after what-”

 

“Please, Snape. I've wanted to see you and talk to you for so long, it's all I think about. Just let's talk, please. Afterwards I don’t care, you can hex me or obliviate me or toss me off a bridge or just never speak to me again.”

 

Snape looked as if he was seriously considering that option, so Harry played the only card he had left. 

 

“You wanted to see me. You...I think maybe you like me.” He continued, not letting Snape interrupt. “Maybe...maybe you'll like what I have to say too.”

 

Harry forced himself to meet Snape’s furious gaze head on. Several emotions, only a few of which Harry could easily identify, flashed over his features until Harry was certain Snape was going to choose the obliviate/murder route. 

 

He took a chance. “Why did you give me veritaserum?”

 

“I needed you to be honest,” was the instant reply.

 

“Then let me be honest. Whatever you want to ask, ask.”

 

Snape seemed to be battling within himself for several long moments. Finally, he came to some kind of internal conclusion, took a breath, closed his eyes and said simply, “Not here.”

 

Harry nodded and threw several notes on the table. “Let's go.”

 

______________

  
  


After the pull and pop of apparation, Harry looked up expecting to find himself in Snapes home but instead they were in front of his own door. 

 

“You know where I live?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Harry let them inside, and sensed an opportunity. “ _ How _ do you-”

 

“No! You don’t get to ask any questions, I ask  _ you _ , Potter. I will not be humiliated anymore today.”

 

“Alright listen,” Harry shouted. “I've had it with you. I try to visit you in the hospital, for all the good that did. I keep you out of Azkaban. I send you a letter a week trying to thank you for everything you did, and to apologize, and-”

 

“Oh yes Potter, please accept my undying gratitude. Do you want me to grovel at your feet in thanks?”

 

“No I don't want you to grovel! I just want you to admit you like me!”

 

“Why?” He growled. 

 

“Because I've been in love with you for years you absolute miserable git!”

 

Harry wasn’t sure which one of them was more shocked by that revelation. 

 

Snape just stared at Harry, stunned. “No...no you have not been.”

 

“Yes I have,” said Harry, deflated and settling into a chair in the dining room. He glanced up, weighing his options. “Do-”

 

“ _ NO.”  _ Snape was suddenly inches away, teeth bared and stormy eyed. “Don't you dare ask me that, you impertinent, arrogant-”

 

“I'm sorry,” Harry said quickly. “I’m sorry, I won't ask, you're right. Why don't you ask me what you wanted to ask me?”

 

Snape still appeared quite ill at ease, but backed off a bit. He stood for a moment considering. 

 

“You honestly believe that you are in love with me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why? When did this start? Explain.”

 

Harry shrugged. “Probably your book, sixth year. All my mates teased me about my crush on the Half Blood Prince. He was snarky and clever and I used to dream up scenarios where I'd meet him in real life. What I'd say. What I'd...do.” Harry fought the blush rising on his face and the slight compulsion to elaborate on exactly what sorts of things he wanted to do with the prince. 

 

If Snape had caught on to that train of thought he didn't show it. “And...when you discovered it was me? How did you feel then?”

 

Harry looked down. “Angry. Hurt. Confused. Dumbledore had tried so hard to get me to trust you, and I had really started to, and then….”

 

“I killed him.”

 

“On his orders,” Harry said softly. “And against your will.”

 

“Still murder,” Snape said coldly.

 

“I forgive you.” Harry swallowed. “For everything. I'm sorry you had to do it. I’m sorry you were so alone, that whole year. That must have been terrible. I know what it's like to be lonely too.”

 

Snape started to speak, fought the urge, and remained silent. 

 

Harry smiled sadly. “You can resist it if you're not asked a direct question. I'm sure you don't want to tell me anything. I wish you would, though.”

 

Snape stayed silent, but the effort that was taking was clear. He cleared his throat. “So. You have a teenage crush on a potions textbook. Then, your imaginary friend turns out to be the man who murdered your mentor and terrorized your classmates. At what point does this grand love story begin? Borne from some sense of guilt? Pity?”

 

Harry considered for a few moments, deciding what the truth was, and how to say it. “That night in the forest. Your patronus. I didn’t know it was yours yet, of course, I just knew she meant safety, peace. That I could trust her, absolutely. It was like I was seeing...some other part of my soul. Your soul. Ours together, maybe. We had a connection I couldn't stop thinking about. ”

 

Snape was very obviously preventing himself from speaking, he was digging his nails into Harry's brand new dining room table and choking back words, whispered so softly Harry couldn't hear. 

 

“And then when you...when you were dying, bleeding out on the floor of the Shrieking Shack and I was supposed to hate you but I couldn't. I couldn't let you die. And the memories. You gave me your memories and...that was it, nothing for it after that. I looked up from that Pensieve and I realized I was in love.”

 

There were permanent grooves etched into the table from Snape's fingernails. 

 

“I’m sorry, I'm so sorry but you need to tell me. Were you in love with my mum?”

 

“No,” came the strangled reply. “I loved her. But not like you think. I've only ever been in lo-” Snape cut himself off by literally holding his hand over his mouth. 

 

“Snape, you are going to bust a blood vessel if you don't say what you want to say.” Harry smiled gently. “May I please ask you?”

 

“ _ No. _ ”

 

“Why don’t you want to tell me?”

 

“I...I can't bear it,” he ground out.

 

Harry stood up from his chair and moved very slowly towards the man. “Please talk to me, Sn-Severus. Please, Severus, what can't you bear?”

 

Severus looked as if he was desperately trying to calculate the distance to the nearest bridge so he could hurl himself into a river. His face was flushed red, his white knuckles gripping the edge of the table so hard Harry thought it might break. 

 

His eyes were squeezed shut and he was clearly using every ounce of strength he possessed to keep the truth from getting out. 

 

His reply finally came so roughly it sounded as if it had been torn out of him. “I can't bear to have you and lose you. I don’t deserve anything as bright or as beautiful as you and if I let you in, when you realize that, you will leave me, and I will die. I couldn't survive it.”

 

Harry’s heart was simultaneously filled with joy realizing that Severus loved him back, and completely broken for this man, who so clearly hated himself and hated his feelings. 

 

“Oh, Severus, you really believe that. I love you. I love you so much, I'm not ever going to leave you. I can’t lie, don't you believe me?”

 

“No,” Severus said in a voice barely above a whisper, shoulders slumped in exhaustion. “You might have convinced yourself you love me, but how could I believe it? And believe you would never leave? You're only compelled to say what you think to be true.”

 

Harry considered this for a few moments. Then, struck by an idea, he said, “If you don't believe what I say, then believe what I do.”

 

Severus watched guardedly as Harry approached him, slowly and gently as if cornering a feral creature. 

 

“I'd like to kiss you,” said Harry, and Severus froze. 

 

“Do you want to know what I do,” Harry continued, “when I want to kiss someone?”

 

“Yes,” Severus replied tightly. 

 

“Well, first I want to make it so were close, but not too close, so I can inch in a little before they realize it.”

 

Harry was decidedly not as subtle as he seemed to think he was, but his proximity and the look in his spring green eyes was rendering Severus helpless to move away. Or move at all. 

 

“Then I try to find an excuse to touch them a bit, see how they react, like,” he paused to lift his hand, deciding for a moment where he might like to direct it. “Their shoulder, maybe, or fingertips...or perhaps a few strands of hair are in their face.” Severus was suddenly aware of the lank locks of hair falling forward over his eyes.

 

“So I’d reach up, like this, and brush them away.”

 

Harry lightly, very lightly brushed the tips of his fingers across Severus’ brow, sweeping the hair to the side out of his face. Pressing down slightly he cards his fingers through the oily strands, tucking them behind Severus’ left ear, deliberately making contact with as much skin as possible.  

 

Severus mustered up every ounce of control he had left, straining to not lean into the tender touch.

 

“That's actually my favorite option, Severus, because now I have an excuse to do this,” Harry said, as he trailed his fingertips over the shell of his ear, lightly stroked the skin of his neck, dragging his fingers down, pulling on the high collar and exposing his throat until his hand stilled over the silver stripes and red knots of the massive scar.

 

Severus’ almost pleased expression at once turned nasty and his lips curled into a sneer. “Pretty sight, isn't it Potter?” He scrapes some venom into his voice and spits, “Still fancy a kiss, do you?”

 

“Yes,” Harry couldn't help but answer honestly. 

 

Severus stiffened in shock.

 

“And no, it isn't pretty.  But it just makes me think of how brave you are. Of everything you did for me, for all of us.” Harry traced over every bulge and divot in the scar covering much of Severus' neck, stroking the sensitive skin of his throat with an unbridled reverence that was pushing against the very edge of Severus’ self control. 

 

On impulse, Harry pressed his lips against the worst of it, the ropey scar tissue and mottled flesh an angry red on the side of his throat, and Severus gasped and pulled back with such force he nearly upended the table. 

 

“Why,” he paused and swallowed thickly, attempting to collect himself. “What do you think you're doing, Potter?”

 

“Kissing you. Touching you. I'd like to do it more. And I wish you’d call me Harry.” 

 

“You...you enjoy this?”

 

“Yes,” he said simply. “Do you like this? Would you like me to kiss you?”

 

Harry could feel the muscles of Severus' arm under his fingers tense as Severus attempted to fight against the compulsion to answer him honestly. Finally, as if the will to resist had gone out of him, he closed his eyes and whispered, “Yes. Yes I want that very much.”

 

“Good. I want that too,” Harry said with a soft smile. 

 

Harry reached his hands out to tangle his fingers in Severus hair at the back of his head, and leaned in, while guiding the other man's head forward. He pressed his lips against Severus’ in a soft and tentative kiss. 

 

Harry opened his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, splaying his fingers against the back of Severus' head and stroking his hair. 

 

Severus’ hold on his control snapped and he gripped Harry's shoulders, pressed their bodies together in a tight embrace, and kissed him back with an impassioned ferocity. 

 

After a few very pleasant minutes, Harry pulled back slightly, out of breath and panting. He moved his hands on either side of Severus face and smiled against his mouth, moving to pepper light kisses over his cheeks, his jaw and his neck. 

 

Severus looked at him with a mixture of hope and disbelief. “You love me,” he said. “Do you love me?”

 

“Yes, yes I love you so much. Please, do you love me too? Tell me.”

 

“Yes,” Severus replied, pulling him close, and making no attempt to resist the urge. “I love you, Harry.”

 

Harry relaxed into the embrace for a long while, enjoying the contact. Then he laughed good naturedly. “So, how long do you think that would have taken? Without the veritaserum?”

 

“Mmm..much longer, I should think.” Severus considered. “I still might Obliviate you in the morning, you know.”

 

“You might,” Harry said, pressing another kiss to Severus’ cheek. “But I doubt it. And it’s alright if you can’t say it again without veritaserum, you know.” Harry leaned his forehead against the other man’s, green eyes meeting the black.

“I’ll say it enough for the both of us.”

  
  
  
  



End file.
